The Pacific

The Pacific is HBO's follow up to the brilliant 'Band of Brothers' mini-series...

Across 10 parts, we find ourselves with the US Marines, fighting the Japanese (where as Band of Brothers was US Army against the Germans). While it follows much the same format as Band of Brothers (ie, the focus on characters changes through the series as people come into and go out from the unit) it lacks the 'interviews' with the 'real guys' that really drove home how REAL Band of Brothers was - of course in this case, most of the Marines featured are now dead...

Still, I was expecting another Band of Brothers, and The Pacific doesn't live up to its predecessors qualities! Still a worthwhile watch, just dont expect to be as blown away...

The Good - Scott Pilgrim and The Horseman

I cant think of two more diametrically opposed films right now, but in the case of both Scott Pilgrim vs the World and The Horseman, we have two Good Films here; Good, not Great, but well worth investing the time in them. Now I understand a number of my recent posts have been quite negative, hopefully this will balance things somewhat - but hey, I'm harsh on film... So deal with it!

Scott Pilgrim vs the World:

This is a pretty good film that I expect, had I been in a better headspace, I would have really liked (those who know me, know how rough the last few months have been on me and the severe degree of shit that has befallen me)... Ramona is WELL HOT, I love the 'video game' feel to all the action, the humour is VERY well done, well acted, well written and well shot!

So, why didn't I REALLY like this film? Simple - Love doesn't conquer all! Ok, this movie does tease us with that fact for a bit (ie, self respect, the 'other' option, etc), but if actually LOVING someone was enough, then the world would be a much nicer place and I wouldn't be where I am... But we wont go into that!


The ending is a bit cliched with 'Love' conquering, but if you're not a bitter, twisted and lonely individual, you should like this!



Now to the Horseman - an Australian Film!

A gritty, dark and fairly bloody little Australian Film, all about revenge and making some bastard pay! And the fact that it is a sole-parent father, going after those who harmed/killed his daughter, gives it a chillingly plausible feel. The character development (through the use of sort of 'flashbacks' and via the aid of a young hitch hiker that he befriends) is brilliant and really shows us both sides to a rather complex character.

It aint one for the squeamish, but a very solid Australian film! Worth the time to see!

...The Bad and the Ugly...

OK, because I have been slack, I am rolling a few things into one here... This is a crap stuff I have seen; the stuff that I really dont want to dwell on, because I feel that while some of this was at least partly entertaining, the overall effect was a bit 'meh' or 'blah' - to use the technical terms...

So lets start with the WORST - Robogeisha

Now normally I quite like Japanese B-grade; but this is a whole new world of pain. To explain how BAD and unwatchable this film is, i got LESS THAN 20mins into it, and just had to stop... The acting, the 'fight scenes', the costuming, the (and I use this word VERY loosely here) 'humour', was utter disrespectful to the fact that I am (in some ways) an intelligent, sentient being.

Just walk away from this one...

Next, The Killer Inside Me... OK, OK, Jessica Alba, so its never going to be 'ground breaking' or anything - BUT she does get killed, so that has to be a plus... Right?

This film REALLY had potential; the majority of it was well acted, well scripted, etc... But its one of those films that draws you in, engages you and then just blows it in the last 5-10mins... Like Seriously, what self-respecting Law Enforcement Officer is NOT going to notice the house they've all just piled into, has been doused from top to bottom in FLAMMABLES. And what self-respecting Law Enforcement Officer is just going to stand idly by while the bad guy plays with fire... Jesus Christ - Treat my brain with some fucken respect please!  

Killers - I did this to myself...  Yes, Katherine Heigl is hot (and others out there will echo this with Ashton Kutcher is hot), but beyond that there are a few moments of slap-stick-esque humour and a whole boat load of blah-blah-blah... Not even Tom Selleck as 'Magnum PI' could have saved this...

Still, I knew I was walking into this one... For some reason, a small (STUPIDLY INFANTILE) part of my brain went 'PING' - it may not be as bad as it sounds...

I have since removed that part of my brain for letting me down so badly!

Zombie films - you know what you're getting, so OK, you need to expect the worst. Survival of the Dead is different. I dont quite understand how on a small island off the US Coast, everyone has a MAD IRISHMAN accent, but it is a Zombie film.

Plot holes - Check, Shooting Zombies in the Head - Check, People doing FUCKEN DAFT things and getting bit - Check, Other people having to make the 'heart wrenching' choice to Zap their former loved ones in the head at close range - Check...

Only really for the Zombie Extremists... And even then, I expect many mumbled comments... George A Romero - not your best, buddy!

Now, I expect abuse for this next call... SALT.

Are you all kidding? Who the hell rates this piece of garbage at all? It has a little action, but a lot of predictable shit as well... Give me a break! Oh and Angelina Jolie still can't act - Salt is a weird combination of the Mrs Smith and that 'bending bullets bitch', and for me, it just doesnt work! I swear, I almost fell asleep during it... The North Korean's should have just tortured her to death, or shot her (as would happen in reality), in the first 2 minutes and saved me the aggravation!

If you have any love of genuine film, give it a miss!

The Men Who Stare at Goats

When one initially looks over the cover to The Men Who Stare at Goats, one may recall The Big Lebowski - a title that is compulsory viewing for all. With such a cast (George Clooney, Ewan McGregor, Jeff Bridges, Kevin Spacey, etc) one is justified in thinking this, I feel.

But as much as I wish, I aint the Big Lebowski.

It is a comedic look into the US Army's attempts at harnessing Psychic Powers, that just lacks a certain 'Je nesais pas' that could have made it good... Its far from a total loss, but I did expect more, particularly from Jeff Bridges.

 Worth watching, just don't hire it, race around to your buddy's or girlfriend's place and expect the same effect as The Big Lebowski would have - perhaps that is not a good comparision, as I remember talking up the Big Lebowski to a girlfriend. While I almost pissed myself at times, she just sat there, confused...

Weird...

Gun - 50 Cent and the waste of my life that it was...

Something for everyone to steer clear of: GUN... 50 Cent, a fat Val Kilmer and nothing...

I'm many ppl will love this utter garbage, but if you value your brain and time, just skip it - move along, nothing to see here... Predictable, dull, drivel... Snore... 90minutes of my life I will never get back!

Inception

Yes, I have been lazy - but I have had a rough few days, so forgive me for not being as 'current' as I should have been. So to catch up, we'll firstly start with Inception!

Now, Leonardo; this guy normally SHITS ME TO TEARS... And so does Marion Cotillard (Leo's wifey). I am happy to say that in this effort, Leo actually manages to keep a lid on most of his more annoying, pretty-boy qualities - I wish I could say the same for Marion (god she grates on me!!!). But otherwise, Inception is cool... Seeing it again on DVD wasnt quite as epic as seeing it the first time at the movies, but it was still a very positive experience.

Now I love this whole questioning of reality stuff (the Matrix blew me away when I first saw it... and second saw it, etc) as those of you who know me, will know (some of those will also know I have a half written 'skewed reality' novel myself)! And Inception does not let things down.

One or two 'weird things' that cause question - such as, why when in top level dream and the van is falling, does second level dream experience zero gravity, but third level dream maintain 'normal' gravity? And where do the guns come from? A few instances of certain guns just 'showing up' (ie, top level dream), where in the third level dream, the guns are there from the start of the dream!

We wont get into the usage of the Blaser R93 .338" either... ;)

What also could have been explained is how everyone got their 'dream world skills' - is it simply that you 'dream' of being a sniper and thus, have those skills, or are these things that you must bring in from the real world? Also interesting how the 'dream worlds' typically obeyed many of the same rules as the real-world - I know when I dream, there are times that 'real world' physics and time just do not apply!

What must be credited is the soundtrack... There is something musical going on through MOST of the movie - you dont notice it at first - but someone has put a lot of work into managing the 'emotional responce' of the audience with the soundtrack; and they did it well!

Now I'm not sure what more I can say about this that hasnt been written in the many reviews - so I will simply say it is definately one of my "must see's"...

Centurion

Tonights first of (possibly) three is Centurion - another of the "Roman Legionaire doing it tough" genre, that Gladiator seemed to kick off! However this time, we're in Britannia and its the Picts on the other side.

What it essentially is however, is a chase movie! And I have no problem with chase movies.

Compared to some of the other rubbish on the new release shelf at the moment, Centurion is actually quite good; the odd cheesey bit of dialog, but thats to be expected when we're dealing with Roman's! The locations are awesome, at times reminding me of the Lord of Rings trilogy and the cast are on the most part, competant and beleivable.

As with any Roman-esque thing, there has to be dash of political double-cross (again, fine with me, its sits well within the genre), but the 'extra' double-cross (the soldier dude, who apparently sold out his buddies to the Picts), I just didnt see the point of.

The ending also became all too predictable, once we met the "lonely, yet beautiful girl", living in the forest - though you can tell by the cover and the opening credits that this film isnt looking to break new ground or sweep the awards at Cannes. But for what it is, it does the job! Its entertaining, nothing really annoying about it, doesnt leave us scratching our heads and therefore not a bad 100 minutes!

Black Death

Normally Sean Bean turns up good movies - but no one is perfect!

What was shaping up to be a potentially good movie, takes a bit of a wrong turn halfway through and ends up rather mind numbing; ironically seeming to be giving the OK (or at least a degree of understanding) to the Malleus Maleficarum type behaviour of the 14th-15th Centuries!

This is unfortunately ANOTHER case of a film that, at least in my opinion, reviewed better than it should have been... Perhaps the reviewers were distracted by (yet again) the brilliant locations or the good cinemaphotography, but Sean Bean (Ulric) was rather predictable, Ed Redmayne (Osmund) was not beleivable and the reported 'suspense', was not really there.

Yet another that I can tick off as having seen, before quite happily moving on...

Dead Snow - Brilliant!

Now, I watched this about 2-3 weeks back again, after finally buying it on DVD - Dead Snow. It has to rate as one of the best Zombie films I have ever seen.

It has everything your run-of-mill, cliched Zombie flick needs; a group of people, isolated location, no way to get help, Zombies, a chainsaw, gore and of course, Dark Humour! But not only does it have this (as well as a good script, great location and cinematography, originality), but it also has Nazi's - in fact, what appears to be a pretty decent sized formation of SS-Einsatzgruppen! (If memory serves, these would have had to have been members of SS-Einsatzgruppe A

Our unfortunate holiday-makers, spending a little time in the picturesque Norwegian wilderness, happen to awake the aforementioned SS-Einsatzgruppe lads - and as we all know, a Disturbed Zombie, is a Hungry Zombie, and a Hungry Zombie an Unhappy Zombie. Unhappy Zombies tend to want to eat you - in fact, all Zombie, regardless of state of mind, want to eat you!

So our misfortunate civilians must make do with whatever weapons are at a hand; lumps of timber, axes, chainsaws and even a snow mobile, in an attempt at some form of rear-guard action against the Nazi Zombie Hordes, as they run-like-buggery!

Now whether you're into Zombie films, Horror films or even Action films, this is probably going to have something for you; particularly if you've a dark sense of humour. So do yourself a favour, find, borrow, buy or somehow acquire yourself a copy and enjoy the genius that is Dead Snow!

ARISE!!!!

The Expendables

Yep... Still watching movies/series and typing - at the same time; call it multi-tasking! But by the way I figure it, The Expendables in not REALLY a movie that I need to put too much intellect and focus into... And I was right.

As a cinematic work, it is nothing more than an excuse to gather up a motley group of near-geriatric action hero's, who are (to varying degrees) past their prime, add a few explosions, fight scenes and make a killing at the box office. This one of those movies that proves AGAIN, the best way to make money in cinema, is to cater for the lowest common denominator!

Governor Schwarzenegger, Sly Stallone, Jet Li, Jason Statham, Dolph Lungren, Mickey Rourke, Bruce Willis, Eric Roberts, Steve Austin; Jesus Christ, you have to be kidding, yeah?

Plot - Nope! (something about a girl?)
Casting - see above (shakes head)
Acting - Plastic (everyone just plays up to the action hero stereotype)
Soundtrack - Predictable (the boys are back! give me a break!!!)

All it had going for it was copious fight scenes (Jet Li was involved, so we have to have a few really good ones, yeah?) and gun play... And of course, the odd gadget, car and gun that would bring every teenage boy and redneck to a state of extreme arousal! That said, there are no excuses made for that. Its the whole point of the movie - to fill in 100minutes of your life, with a celebration of over-indulgent, testosterone-fueled, alpha-male masturbatory fantasy!

If that floats your boat, good stuff... you'll love it...