...The Bad and the Ugly...

OK, because I have been slack, I am rolling a few things into one here... This is a crap stuff I have seen; the stuff that I really dont want to dwell on, because I feel that while some of this was at least partly entertaining, the overall effect was a bit 'meh' or 'blah' - to use the technical terms...

So lets start with the WORST - Robogeisha

Now normally I quite like Japanese B-grade; but this is a whole new world of pain. To explain how BAD and unwatchable this film is, i got LESS THAN 20mins into it, and just had to stop... The acting, the 'fight scenes', the costuming, the (and I use this word VERY loosely here) 'humour', was utter disrespectful to the fact that I am (in some ways) an intelligent, sentient being.

Just walk away from this one...

Next, The Killer Inside Me... OK, OK, Jessica Alba, so its never going to be 'ground breaking' or anything - BUT she does get killed, so that has to be a plus... Right?

This film REALLY had potential; the majority of it was well acted, well scripted, etc... But its one of those films that draws you in, engages you and then just blows it in the last 5-10mins... Like Seriously, what self-respecting Law Enforcement Officer is NOT going to notice the house they've all just piled into, has been doused from top to bottom in FLAMMABLES. And what self-respecting Law Enforcement Officer is just going to stand idly by while the bad guy plays with fire... Jesus Christ - Treat my brain with some fucken respect please!  

Killers - I did this to myself...  Yes, Katherine Heigl is hot (and others out there will echo this with Ashton Kutcher is hot), but beyond that there are a few moments of slap-stick-esque humour and a whole boat load of blah-blah-blah... Not even Tom Selleck as 'Magnum PI' could have saved this...

Still, I knew I was walking into this one... For some reason, a small (STUPIDLY INFANTILE) part of my brain went 'PING' - it may not be as bad as it sounds...

I have since removed that part of my brain for letting me down so badly!

Zombie films - you know what you're getting, so OK, you need to expect the worst. Survival of the Dead is different. I dont quite understand how on a small island off the US Coast, everyone has a MAD IRISHMAN accent, but it is a Zombie film.

Plot holes - Check, Shooting Zombies in the Head - Check, People doing FUCKEN DAFT things and getting bit - Check, Other people having to make the 'heart wrenching' choice to Zap their former loved ones in the head at close range - Check...

Only really for the Zombie Extremists... And even then, I expect many mumbled comments... George A Romero - not your best, buddy!

Now, I expect abuse for this next call... SALT.

Are you all kidding? Who the hell rates this piece of garbage at all? It has a little action, but a lot of predictable shit as well... Give me a break! Oh and Angelina Jolie still can't act - Salt is a weird combination of the Mrs Smith and that 'bending bullets bitch', and for me, it just doesnt work! I swear, I almost fell asleep during it... The North Korean's should have just tortured her to death, or shot her (as would happen in reality), in the first 2 minutes and saved me the aggravation!

If you have any love of genuine film, give it a miss!